You tell me to move on, where do I go?

I don't know why I'm getting upset more frequently now when I've cut off all contacts than when we were still in contact.
I should feel better.
I want to feel better.
Why don't I feel like those times where I don't hear from you and then I feel completely alright.
Like the old me.
I miss her.

How do I push you out so I can build that wall again?

I don't want to hate you because that would require effort and I've wasted way too much of that on you.

I don't want hatred in my life because you are not worth it.