I don't know how to answer that question.
I had thought, deleting him from every aspect of my life would make it easier, but it has not.
In fact, although its not as bad as the beginning, its worse than those times he appears and disappears from my life.
I'm not saying I want him to do that, I just wish my feelings towards him would dissipate.
EVERY single feeling towards him because I don't know what exactly I feel for him.
I want to be able to say I'm numb towards him.
To be able to look at him just like he is any other stranger on the street.
Yet I still cry.
I can't even explain why.
Is it because I feel lonely?
Is it beause I'm still grieving?
Is it because my hearts breaks every single minute?
Is it because somehow I feel like it was all just a game to him and that betrayal just kills me?
Is it because the dreams I had of a future together are just destoyed now?
I don't know.
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