You will never know...

I met my friend 2 days before she flew back.
While waiting for her, I realised, it has been 4 months since that fateful day in january.
OMG.

When you messaged me out of the blue on friday, my eyes just started tearing up.
Before I knew it tears started to flow.
Trying my hardest to stop myself from getting worse because I was about to go driving.
1 month of not getting a message from you.
Did you even realise?

I didn't want to reply. What do I say to that statement? Why did you have to ask?
1 month of not messaging you.
Did you even realise?

Today, you don't know how I felt when I heard your voice.
After 1 month of not hearing it.
Did you even realise?

After 1 month of not hearing your laughter.
Did you even realise?

After 2 months of not seeing you.
Did you even realise?

Today,
My eyes are so swollen.
My mind is in a whirlwind.
My heart feels so heavy.
You don't even realise.

Yet today, I laughed again with you. You have no idea how that few minutes made me so happy.

Dear God, I don't know why YOU always make him contact me when I am totally not thinking of him, when I am totally engrossed in other stuff. YOU know how exhausting it has been for me with him constantly on my mind. Its almost as if YOU want him to be on my mind all the time. Haiz...