10/09/2009
22/10/2009
02/11/2009
13/11/2009
30/12/2009
28/01/2010
31/03/2010
Do you remember what these dates stand for?
You probably don't. But I don't blame you.
The little things probably mean more to me than it does to you.
And each day, I'm reminded of them. AGAIN.
The details of each date. Many more dates than those above in fact. They remain fresh in my memory.
Try and test me.
Do you know how painful it is for me?
To remember what we once had and how it is no longer that way?
How my heart breaks from missing it? From missing you?
How I try to pretend that I'm ok with how things are now so that I'll still have you in my life? Just to hear from you. When deep down I'm struggling to hold myself together. Stopping myself from touching and holding you. Choosing my words ever so carefully. Because at the slightest thing, you will just avoid/ignore me again. Do you know how much more I break each time? The times I have shattered? You will never know.
Do you even care?
Probably not.
Because I don't mean anything to you.
Mengapakah hati manusia kerap berubah-ubah? Dengan sekelip mata semua berubah. Apakah CINTA itu sudah tiada nilainya lagi dalam zaman sekarang?
Am I just too naive to believe in 'The One'? To believe in true love? When some people after years of being together, split up, get divorced or just simply leave, am I asking for too much to want a love that lasts forever? But I mean, come on, we're all adults. No longer teenagers. All perfectly capable in making mature decisions and choices.
It just doesn't make sense to me. Because shouldn't 2 people who truly love each other wholeheartedly fight for their love? Through whatever if it means being together? It's not complicated. You either want to make it work or you don't. Simple as that. Isn't the love one receives worth any obstacles encountered?
And I now understand why some people die of a broken heart. Especially those old folks who have been fortunate enough to have had lived with 'The One' for their lifetime that when 'The One' passes, they just feel so empty, their zest of life is gone. How envious I am of them. To have had a lifetime of being in love.
So, have I met 'The One'? Is he already in my life and I just don't know it? Am I too focused on one person that I'm blind to others around me? Am I so unwilling to let go because every ounce of my being tells me he's 'The One'? Is he still the same guy I fell for? I don't know. And I don't know how to find out. The fact that memories will never change makes it all the more harder for me to let go. The places we went together remains the same yet your feelings for me have changed.
You don't realise you're only running away from yourself. Look back once in awhile and you might just realise that there's nobody chasing after you.
Do you even still 'Remember Me'? The girl whose heart; you've taken? you've stomped on? you've trampled on? you've broken to pieces?
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