Can't figure out what's wrong...

I don't know what else to say.
I don't know how he sees me anymore.
I want to ask but he'll only say he doesn't know.
For someone so smart he sure does not know alot of things.

I miss seeing his name on my phone.
I want to get angry yet all I feel is sadness.
And I don't even know why.
And though I keep telling myself to move on, I'm scared I never will.
God, I'm scared.

It's like, over the years, I've choked on fish bones a couple of times.
BUT I'm not going to let that stop me from eating fish.
Why let the fear make you miss out on a good thing?
Face the fear. Just be more careful. And reap the benefits.
This is something he has yet to understand.
Sometimes I wish someone would tell him.
To make him understand.

I am glad however that I met him and he reminded me of YOUR importance God.
I had not realise how distant I was getting from YOU.
And that is definitely one good thing that has come out from this.
For that, I will always be grateful to him.

Sometimes I wish he can read all of what I've written.
But I don't think he would care.